Sidebar

---

Here is a journal of my thoughts and experiences while on my Canada Trek.

Entry #1:

I am so excited to be setting out to visit the great Canada Land. I am so proud of maple syrup, hockey, and our liberal attitudes and acceptance of all things. We enjoy the fact that many think that Canada is the 52nd state of the US. We don't hate the US - we are just happy that we are committed to protecting the environment and have huge oil reserves that we are keeping under wraps for now.

Entry #2:

Canada truly is an amazing place. Today I traveled down the only road in Canada from Alberta to PEI. I went to a redneck exhibit and even saw some in their natural habitat. Tomorrow I plan on going to Toronto. I hear they have nice maple leaves. After that who knows what the future holds... Maybe I'll go to Ontario... or Ottowa.

the rare black squirrels of Vancouver . . . they can grow to get really big

Entry #3: Today, I went to Stanly Park in downtown Vancouver. It was full of squirrels, people, and small babies walking their parents on leashes. It was a bright sunny day, so I laid out in the sun. Unfortunately, the ground was covered with 1.5 meters of snow so it was a little damp. But that did not discourage me from giving it the ole "Canadians can be happy anywhere except in Tampa" heave-hoe. It is the espirit de corps. After the park, I traveled to the rainforest and watched the salmon swim back up stream to spawn. Although the salmon found each other "sexy," I was a little grossed out. So I trekked back to the city and went to the beach.

Entry #4:

Today I ran out of Canadian dollars. Yes, it was tough without Canadian dollars. I hope that I can beg for enough money to get some food. I am going to try to stay at a local hostile.

Entry #5:

I spelled hostel wrong in entry #4. That was kinda misleading seeing as how the owners were actually very nice and not hostile at all. Oh well, now I am off to sell "rare" maple leaves to tourists so I can get some cash.

Entry #6:

After writing the word "hostel" hundreds of times, I finally feel comfortable spelling it in front of an audience. I sold several leaves to tourists. But the Royal Mounted Po=Po got a little curious so I had to move my maple leaf selling operation underground . . . I decided that I would befriend a nice American couple and show them around town. I made friends with this one American kid -- he had really curly hair and brown/green eyes. He does funny tricks like mimicing eating a fly the same way that a dog would do. He was with this hyper half Asian chick who keep screaming about how bad "WHITE PEOPLE" rice was. . I don't know quite what is meant by that. Later one, we visited an Asian cafe where we had LYCHEE ice cream. The Lychee was good. We enjoyed it. Afterwards, we visited the "Place De La Glace" and enjoyed licorice sorbet. The half Asian chick said that it was good but it reminded her of this candy from her native land.

Entry #7: After a grand night out on the town, I slept and did not wake up until around noon. I felt like such a "girelli." Girelli is a slang term used here in the motherland. I have not quite mastered its true definition but it means something like a person who is really on target but likes to make others think that he is goofing around. It is generally a benign term and has positive connotations. So I begin to weave the master plan . . . . . . also, ze wulf seems to be lurking about, eh?

Entry #7-B: As I walked around the downtown, I could sense ze wulf was about. I thought that I saw him as I rounded a corner but once I got there, the elusive little imp was no where to be found. . . . It is as if I feel that he is constantly looking over my shoulder. It is as if I can smell him, sense his being so near . . . oh no!!

Entry #8: My tingling Canadian senses tell me that ze wulf could have moved ahead of me to Toronto. I take a train there with the money I've earned from selling rare maple leaves to the Amerdeecans. I've heard Toronto Chinatown is awesome, so I am headed there now.

Entry #9: Even though I am still on the train to Toronto, I can only imagine what I will find there. I haven't been there before. It is very cold on the train. There are not a little of people on board since it is an overnight train. I am in a car by myself. I hear a sound from the back of the car and I turn around to see . . .

A LEVEL 3.5 DUNGEON MASTER

Entry #10: When we got off of the train it Toronto it was snowing very hard. I put on my beaver fur coat and started marching towards Chinatown. On the way I met an angry Amerdeecan named Nicolo Badgio, he had just seen the Toronto Maple Leafs beat his beloved Boston Bruins. As I tryed to calm him down, he escaped and began to slash every leaf with his hockey stick. After seeing he was only hitting leaves, not The Leafs, he became infuriated! He bashed every Canadian he could see. After being distracted by a basket of bagels and Starbucks coffee, he was shot with a tranquilizer. The Canadian mounties then shaved him and put him in the stocks.

Entry #11: I laughed at Badgio for three days then set off towards Ottowa. After not having seen ze wulf for three whole days, I began to become paranoid. Had something happened to him? Had he gotten bored of me? Or was it more? Could he have trained with the level 3.5 dungeon master I met on the train and upped his rogue skills thus becomeing even more elusive? Since I had run out of money and could not sell any more leaves since Badgio had destroyed them all, I had to walk to Ottowa. On my trip, I became extremely exhausted and passed out on the side of the road.

Entry #12: Luckily, a few hours later, Jim Carrey, a famous Canadian, found me and dropped me back off at the edge of Chinatown. After a short conversation and having him autograph my beaver jacket, I headed back into Chinatown to find a way to make enough money to get me to Ottowa. In front of a noodlemaker's shop, a small old Asian lady named Changkitashikoponeshzhinghaonepahkunsah (pronounced: "WHEN") offered me a job cutting rice sticks. After gaining her trust, I was shocked to be told a secret that would prove to be a delirious plot twist to my trek across Canadia. Changkitashikoponeshzhinghaonepahkunsah (I called her When for short) was a secret agent spy sent from the future to track down ze wulf and destroy him in order to save the lives some important person or something like that. I was even more shocked to hear that she had been looking for me for a very long time...

Entry #13: Agent "When" fit in perfectly with the citizens of Toronto. She moved like stealth and had a secret supply of maple syrup from which she drew what appeared to be a magical supply of power. She was somewhat elusive in answering my questions about the future . . . I wanted to know all the important things such as "who won the superbowl" and "how exactly did Janet Reno take over the state of Montana?" When I prodded her about the first woman to be president of the US, she informed that it was a tie and they agreed to rule jointly. She explained that we now receive unlimited parental leave from work to raise our children. She also explained that the crazy half Asian chick I met before ended up being elected to the Global D & D board of governors and has instituted half levels for dungeon masters. She explained that the world was quite different from now but not to worry, because I would play a pivotal role in the future of Canada as we struggled to emerge from the shadow of the United States. Lastly, she told me that the 1980s was still regarded as the best decade ever and that everyone would visit there on their family vacations. Interesting, huh? And I, of course, wanted her to tell me more about ze wulf . . . but all of a sudden, we heard it running fast and furiously toward us. We could barely believe what we were seeing ----

Entry #14: David Shirley is NOT ze wolf and he hides in Switzerland like a loserr.

Trevor killed ze wulf after david shirley spelled "ze wulf" wrong. Now Trevor is celebrated as a national hero in Canada!! The Cananadians even re-named their fruit formerly called an "apple". Now its called a "trev". So dont be afraid, bite right into a nice, big, juicy trev!!

Entry #15: Today I was in the Canadian tundra. I was just  walking along when all of a sudden i was pushed on the ground. It was a rabied gopher  named Hinkle. I was so shocked I jumped up onto my feet and then it started to do signs with its paws. i turned to see it signing to a cat.  The cat was the awsomest cat ever named Grant. I was terrified so i searched through my belt sack and found the weapon of choice. I quickly sprayedboth of the forest animals with my water bottle, flicked the cat, and ran as fast as I could away from them.

 Create your own educational wiki!Support CommunityPublic, Silver wiki Privacy Policy RSS